settle down, now.

I’m tired of being gay
like, “I like girls” gay
literally gay
I just want to be…
here
not gay or a woman
or not gay or not a woman
I just want to be.
I just want.
I just-
I.
forget it.

i have figured out what i’d like to do with my life, and i get to get the fuck out of this stupid fucking town

i want to go into americorps, and then possibly peace corps from there.

i get to travel and help people. forge new relationships either across america or across the world. learn new things and have an even more open mind. forget about all of the stupid shit here. it’s all so insignificant.

and you know what? i have a sneaking suspicion that my drug and alcohol problem will do nothing but disappear when i get on that bus/plane/train/car en route to endless possibilities,

so i’m heavily considering it. 

fuck all of you. i’m done here. why be unhappy? i’m going to leave and do some great things. because what the fuck is there to do here? go to junior college and work for shit hours in retail until i lose my mind? why? fuck you. no.

i can do literally almost anything, like any reasonable hobby or activity i could do it, and possibly be kind of good at whatever is happening. i just lack passion through and through, which means i will never excel at anything.

my, isn’t that just nice

I am sorry for not wanting to be loved or love in return.

For becoming all that used to disgust me.

Dry, used up, unimpressed.

I am close to these flower children.

They bloom with love and thrive on affection.

I will continue to decline into dirt alongside them.

From where I have come, shall I return.

another day being a dick hole

tomorrow i’m off. i just want to smoke weed and watch dexter. 

but now i gotta sleep

well

lay down

kbye

I need to get off tumblr and fucking sleep. everything’s freaking me out. I’m really on edge. like something is going to happen and it isn’t going to be good. or that life will stay like this. I think it might be the same feeling. ok. bye.

I like it better when no one notices me.